středa 31. března 2010

A Few Words about Energy

My son is almost 10 and he recently started his “I am into hip-hop now” phase. As a result, the latest CD by the Black Eyed Peas landed in our household and we all had to listen to it and express our opinion.

Trying to be a “go with the flow” mother (at least in certain areas), I happily listened to the music and the lyrics and actually quite enjoyed it. What surprised me, though, was when my son explained that the “E.N.D.” of the title stood for “Energy Never Dies” – what a powerful title that is!

It struck me immediately that everybody should remember this phrase, whatever their situation is. For energy is always around us, moving exactly in the direction we want it to. You keep thinking negative thoughts and the energy around you swings towards negative things happening to you. You make sure your thoughts are positive and re-assuring, and the energy reacts accordingly. This belief was proven to me recently, when all the houses on our streets got broken into, one after another over a period of time. I had decided right from the beginning that it was not going to happen to our house and sure enough, we were the only house left untouched.

I know that life can get tough, even super tough. I know that writing the words about energy is easier that dealing with some situations that life can bring upon us. Remembering, though, that everything is moving and changing all the time should be enough to keep us hopeful that one day the change will touch us too. If, on top of this, we believe this change will be positive, so it shall be.

Go on, do all you can to shape your energy the way you want to and if you feel like listening to some music along the way, the Black Eyed Peas album is highly recommended.

pátek 26. března 2010

The Easiest Way to Your Fulfillment

To feel fulfillment in our lives is one of our highest aspirations. Quite often, though, the desire to feel fulfilled means we mistake temporary achievements or gathering of possessions for this feeling of contentment.

Sure, it feels good to get a new car. We enjoy it for a while but then the excitement fades away; the new car becomes normal for us and we are off after our next pursuit. The same goes for other highlights: promotion, salary increase, new partner, bigger house.

The thing is, if we are not fulfilled inside, none of the above will make us happy over a long period of time. I believe that to feel truly fulfilled we need to fall in love with our inner selves. That emotion will carry us through anything and we will feel fulfilled, even if we have nothing.

Feeling fulfilled is not the same as feeling good. You can go through a rough day and through a range of emotions and still feel fulfilled! In fact, sometimes you actually have to go through activities that do not feel good to feel fulfilled! In my case, I started kick-boxing lessons recently in order to improve my stamina. Does it feel good to deliver punches and be sweaty within the first 3 minutes? Heck no! Do I feel fulfilled? You bet! I am trying something I have always wanted to try; I am pushing my own boundaries and feel on top of the world through it all!

Fulfillment is about being truly alive. It is about expression of who you really are. Throw away all those “shoulds” and “wants” and “must haves”. Enjoy your real, fulfilled self. It is much easier than you think.

úterý 16. března 2010

What is the True Reason for your Actions?

If you are one of those people who has the urge to say “yes” to everything, this is a must-read article for you.

I come across this “yes”-impulse in my clients often – especially female clients; the men don’t seem to suffer from this syndrome as much! This “yes”-impulse makes clients relentlessly volunteer for everything that requires volunteering; continuously care for their kids’ pets; never fail to provide a shoulder for friends to cry on – and only occasionally admit that they feel “overwhelmed”. And is there any wonder, these clients feel overwhelmed? All their precious time is spent on others; there no time left to think about their own lives, thoughts, feelings or wants.

Saying “yes” to any and every request often has hidden reasons. For example, some people over-volunteer because of a desperate need to be appreciated, or because of a need to feel important, or simply because of a need to be so busy that there is no time to focus on the reality of their life.

If you are constantly striving to please everybody else, all the time, and are beginning to get tired of doing so, try the following simple exercise. Every time you are asked to do something, ask yourself before replying: Do I really want to do this? Or do I want to do it because I think I should?

There is a big difference between “wanting” to do something and thinking we “should” do it. There will always be responsibilities, things that we “have” to do. But apart from these core tasks, try to always differentiate between “want” and “should” – this will be the fastest indicator of the real reason for your future decision making.

If possible, from now on, try to commit only to those activities that you really want to do. Your life will be much easier and you will have more fun too!

čtvrtek 4. března 2010

Are you hiding behind your stress?

When I talk to clients who are stressed, I have noticed they have one thing in common. Actually, they have more things in common but one stands out for me.

They all seem to be running around, doing this, doing that and if they have a spare minute, they decide to re-arrange the furniture or straighten up the books on the shelves, just to do “something”.

At the same time, they claim, they are tired. They have no time just to sit and relax, because if they did, they would earn less money and the competition would snatch their niche, and so on and so on. When asked if that is an ideal life for them they say no but no other life is possible, period. And then they start talking about travelling to new places and taking walks by the ocean and relaxing with a book, while having this dreaming look in their eyes as if those activities were only allowed for royalty.

The trouble comes, when I share my piece of honesty with them, pointing out that they are clearly running away and hiding from something, most probably from themselves.

In all fairness, such is the nature of many of us. Running in circles, complaining all the same, describing how life would be outside the circle and then sadly concluding that we don’t have enough courage to break free. Why is that so? What can be so difficult?

The truth is, it is often easier to make millions than to sit down and admit that we are not happy with our lives. It is easier to train for a marathon than resign from a job that bores us but represents stability. It is easier to complain than break patterns and habits and possibly get a bit shaken in the process.

Yet the truth eventually catches up with us, should it be in the form of sickness, getting divorced, being fired, the forms are endless. When you think about it, isn’t it just easier to sit down, do an honest and thorough evaluation of your life right now and start implementing changes bit by bit?

Look at it this way. When the action comes from you, it is much more honorable and easier than when somebody has to do it for you. Don’t you agree?