čtvrtek 29. dubna 2010

Can Honesty be Your Cure?

I have a friend who recently started complaining about persistent insomnia. He also persistently believed it was caused by weather changes, heavy food, uncomfortable pillows, etc. Then I asked him, just for fun, to put down all the things that were currently not working in his life or that bothered him on some level. He did the list, brought it to me – and oh boy, was it long!

He walked around with this long list in his head, not knowing it was so long and not realizing how much certain points on the list frustrated him – until his body decided to take over and send a message that something was very, very wrong. Needless to say, just making the list has helped my friend gain more clarity. And by starting to tackle one issue after another (always starting with the smallest and easily fixable issues first) he has regained his restful nights.

The lesson here is not about lists and sleepless nights. The issue here is honesty and how much we are using it when evaluating or thinking about our lives. How many excuses do you use to hide the obvious facts? How many lies do you feed yourself on a daily basis? How often are your feelings spot-on but you decide to listen to your “brain voice” instead?

By incorporating honesty into your daily actions towards yourself, you will gain many valuable insights. Not only about who you are but about who you really want to be. If you want to be happy, positive, full of energy (and have a good night’s sleep!), start asking some relevant questions and answering them honestly. This would be a great beginning, followed by, hopefully, some even more relevant action.

úterý 27. dubna 2010

The Easy Way to Support Your Goals

If some of you don’t like the word “goals”, you can use whatever word feels right for you: desires, intentions, wishes, aspirations… The point is, if you want to get somewhere in life, you need to know your direction – and your goals are like stepping stones towards that desired final outcome.

So why is it then that so many people struggle to achieve their goals? And what can be done to avoid this situation? It might sound too “technical” but setting up a structure around the way you approach your goals is very important.

What I mean by “structure” is certain practices, rituals, habits, that make sure you are working on your goals continuously. If you go towards your goals on a daily basis, that is already a good beginning.

Other practices that might be helpful are: regular visualizations, meditations, making vision boards, posting affirmations somewhere where you can see them, listening to motivational programs while driving… Or you can do all of these!

The point is – setting your goals is not enough. You have to create a support system which will carry you through the times when you want to quit. Having a routine to rely on when things get tough differentiates those who actually achieve their goals from those who repeatedly fail to achieve them.

If you need a friend to accompany you to the gym, because weight loss is your goal, find one. If you need to re-decorate your office to make it a happier place to work in, do it. If you need to get up 15 minutes earlier to be alone and center yourself for the day, do it.

Only you know what works for you. Don’t postpone setting up these structures; they will keep you on track when it is needed the most.

středa 21. dubna 2010

Time for Yourself – Anybody Interested?

A while ago, I ran one of my workshops and something interesting happened. Before I tell you what this was, I have to point out that the participants were all female – I wonder then, if the following “syndrome” is something typical for women only. I’ll leave that to your own judgment.

At the beginning of the workshop I asked the participants to put aside their families and their needs, their jobs and the demands connected to them. I asked the ladies in the class to concentrate (for the purpose of the workshop) purely on themselves; on their wishes, desires and goals. We underwent the entire process of how to make perfect goals, step-by-step.

My surprise came when, at the end of the exercise, I asked them to read some of their goals to me! The goals were very similar to this: “I want to have…for my children.” “I need to….for my husband.” “I deliver….for my boss.” Most of their goals were tailored around helping out somebody else!!!

I was left wondering – is it really so difficult for us to put aside 3 hours of our time and be utterly and shamelessly selfish? Is it impossible not to focus most of our actions on those around us? Was the concept of prioritizing ourselves for a while really such a foreign concept to those fabulous ladies?

If you find yourself thinking along the same lines as the ladies in my workshop, I would like to ask you to go somewhere quiet and think about your life and who you are living it for. It goes without saying that doing things for others is part of who we are as human beings. However, devoting at least a tiny little bit (if not more) to ourselves and our own thoughts and desires on a daily basis is a must.

If you realize it and start doing something about it, you will be surprised. You will feel more valuable to yourself and become instantly more valued by others. Just you wait!

pondělí 5. dubna 2010

How Do You Make Your Decisions?

Making decisions is part of our daily life and for many it can be a cumbersome task. I know some people who go around asking half the world what they think about the decision they are about to make. Imagine if the opinions of such a huge group vary (and they often do!) – what then? Then there are those who do their research quietly. They read the information, compare the facts, make a shortlist of possible outcomes and then finally make their decision. By themselves, yes, but my goodness the time it took!

And then there is the rest, who make their decisions spontaneously – and believe it or not they actually have fun in the process!

What is the difference here?

When making our decisions, we can either rely on the external factors – the facts, the numbers, the news, the experience and opinions of other people – or we can listen to our own internal guidance and follow what we feel like and what works for us.

Guess what? Who knows you and your situation and needs the best? You do! Who knows (even if very, very deep inside) the right answer? You do! Who knows what feels right and what feels wrong? Yes, you do.

It is the nature of human beings to underestimate our own opinion and guidance. We tend to believe that others know more and that if we listen and follow, we will be fine.

While that might be true in some cases, if you eliminate that external stimuli, calm your mind down and listen to your inner guidance, it will give you the right answer – every time; hands down; without any mistake.

Try it with “small stuff” and when you feel you can trust that inner voice, go for the “big stuff”. You will not be disappointed.