What is the True Reason for your Actions?

If you are one of those people who has the urge to say “yes” to everything, this is a must-read article for you.

I come across this “yes”-impulse in my clients often – especially female clients; the men don’t seem to suffer from this syndrome as much! This “yes”-impulse makes clients relentlessly volunteer for everything that requires volunteering; continuously care for their kids’ pets; never fail to provide a shoulder for friends to cry on – and only occasionally admit that they feel “overwhelmed”. And is there any wonder, these clients feel overwhelmed? All their precious time is spent on others; there no time left to think about their own lives, thoughts, feelings or wants.

Saying “yes” to any and every request often has hidden reasons. For example, some people over-volunteer because of a desperate need to be appreciated, or because of a need to feel important, or simply because of a need to be so busy that there is no time to focus on the reality of their life.

If you are constantly striving to please everybody else, all the time, and are beginning to get tired of doing so, try the following simple exercise. Every time you are asked to do something, ask yourself before replying: Do I really want to do this? Or do I want to do it because I think I should?

There is a big difference between “wanting” to do something and thinking we “should” do it. There will always be responsibilities, things that we “have” to do. But apart from these core tasks, try to always differentiate between “want” and “should” – this will be the fastest indicator of the real reason for your future decision making.

If possible, from now on, try to commit only to those activities that you really want to do. Your life will be much easier and you will have more fun too!